Detachment

"It is human to want love and to want to be taken care of and to want to take care of someone else. To deny that, is simply to deny one’s humanity"

I stumbled upon these words on an online article, and it gave me the answer for the question. The more we care about something, the more harm it'll bring us. I even updated about similar thing on my Instagram, "the reason was obvious, still, you cared too much", years ago, cause I was hurt by certain someone. Maybe it was an act of self-enforcement, or a mere excuse I when I felt a great disappointment toward somebody I cared for. 

As I turned down all the emotions I had with that person, they seemed to care more, or at least, maintain a healthy communication with me. I was confused, and wondering what did I do wrong. Turns out to be a major crap as I realized that I might be overbearing or seemingly "needy", and stuffs that will push people away. I did the opposite when I have someone I cared, and I was blinded by their beauty or illusion within my thoughts.

What bothered me from the first place were sense of detachment. As if I was attached to a person, yet detached at the same time. Feeling distant will be more appropriate, since I couldn't relate to them emotionally. I know how to think like them, what they'd have done or will do, yet I can't seem to be empathetic. Truly understanding other's feeling isn't really my stuff, so I'll try to live with it.