I want to believe
In the end, it is everything I've imagined. We were torn apart, yet we're trying to be in touch with one another. I tried to be indiferrent, but the universe won't let me be apathetic. The thing that I've realized is the fact that I'm still deeply thinking about you, and I might be a fool to defy the truth, that you will always be special. All the happiness in the world won't be a suitable replacement for the happiness I felt when I'm with you.
Then again, I always felt that I was to blame, that I am the one guilty, for pushing you with my ridiculous thoughts and deeds. What I was trying to convince you that our differences can be solved. No matter how hard I plead, you were bound to your faith, and I was so arrogant, and pushy. Sometimes, I would put your name in my purposeless prayers. I do not believe in any deity, yet I nonchalantly pursue that promising act as a way to make a wish. I wish that our world unified, and many more wishful thinking that I hoped for many aeons ago. I was ready to give up, then one day, you called me out of nowhere.
"Hey, you busy ? I was thinking about you, and I hope that we could spend our day together ? There are things I'd like to share, maybe you had it too. "
Yea, it struck me hard. I believed that it's not the cloud that I should be aware of, but the lightning. What struck me hard, was those long-lost hope I had, a word from you, indicating your desire to be with me. Well, not "being with me", like many years ago, but at least, we can spend the time lollygaggin' without worrying about our job. I want to believe in you ; one thing that will always keep me in touch with these long-lost memories. I am trying to be skeptical, or doubtful to all the signs from above, cause I'm afraid that I will get hurt. When the time comes, all I ever wanted to ask to you wereplain and simple; Have we grown ? Are we a better person compared to our past selves ? How happy we are at the moment, and whatever relationship we'll ended up having, will the chemistry be there ?
I don't want to lie about my feelings. I do care for you as a friend, and as your former lover. I wish that we could get back in a romantic relationship, but nothing like we had aeons ago. My efforts will probably bother you, but I thought of them as something necessary. Then again, I am not the same guy that used to fall in love with you. I will respect every decision you made, cause you were the one worthy of handling it.
Then again, I always felt that I was to blame, that I am the one guilty, for pushing you with my ridiculous thoughts and deeds. What I was trying to convince you that our differences can be solved. No matter how hard I plead, you were bound to your faith, and I was so arrogant, and pushy. Sometimes, I would put your name in my purposeless prayers. I do not believe in any deity, yet I nonchalantly pursue that promising act as a way to make a wish. I wish that our world unified, and many more wishful thinking that I hoped for many aeons ago. I was ready to give up, then one day, you called me out of nowhere.
"Hey, you busy ? I was thinking about you, and I hope that we could spend our day together ? There are things I'd like to share, maybe you had it too. "
Yea, it struck me hard. I believed that it's not the cloud that I should be aware of, but the lightning. What struck me hard, was those long-lost hope I had, a word from you, indicating your desire to be with me. Well, not "being with me", like many years ago, but at least, we can spend the time lollygaggin' without worrying about our job. I want to believe in you ; one thing that will always keep me in touch with these long-lost memories. I am trying to be skeptical, or doubtful to all the signs from above, cause I'm afraid that I will get hurt. When the time comes, all I ever wanted to ask to you wereplain and simple; Have we grown ? Are we a better person compared to our past selves ? How happy we are at the moment, and whatever relationship we'll ended up having, will the chemistry be there ?
I don't want to lie about my feelings. I do care for you as a friend, and as your former lover. I wish that we could get back in a romantic relationship, but nothing like we had aeons ago. My efforts will probably bother you, but I thought of them as something necessary. Then again, I am not the same guy that used to fall in love with you. I will respect every decision you made, cause you were the one worthy of handling it.
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