The Mirroring Thoughts

It's not about how you're being aroused after I explain something sophisticated. I ain't much of a philosopher, a man of culture, or a mastermind. It's not about how my guitar weeped gently to entertain you with songs I wrote, songs I played. It was not how flirty you are. Not about how we wanted to be together, just to read a book or watching a movie together. No, not for the sake of doing nasty things together, where we could be very intimate and unraveling what lies beyond hitherto. Not just to entertain the idea of enjoying all the moment, or reminiscing how bad our life was. Not to compare how similar or identical our thoughts were.

No, milady. When I'm with you, it was all obvious. We're just two specimens trapped within an unbreakable glass container, waiting to be dissected by something greater. We both didn't believe in coincidence or destiny. But what I managed to understand was the fact that we're just mirroring each other. We want to understand what is best for us, what's worth fighting. And yes, we may not be together for now. It is a fact that we both agree. Maybe our dreams are more honest, compared to our conscious self. The more we resist, I'm afraid that we will be too late to realize, that we're but each other 's reflection. 

As we're sure or ready to embrace our emotion, there will be thoughts; many vicious, horrendous thoughts inside. Why would other people be so cruel, inconsiderate about how painful it is to open up into something. We wanted to believe in emotions, we wanted to embrace it. then again, it was not all the best course of things. maybe, just maybe, wrong people are everywhere. there are too many who will not appreciate, or even treat our feelings as non-existent. They selfishly stated things that is too much, yet as we asked the same, we gained nothing. But still, who am I to fool myself ? I've been in this kind of cycle for a long time. Sometimes, enough is enough. No more mumbo-jumbo about human emotion and feelings. I should have sealed it all years ago. Believing in something blindly, what was I thinking ? It was always obvious! Yet somehow I wanted to go on. I just want to believe that somehow, someone out there will see me as I see her. No matter how foolish I'll look like if I stated my interest, or plain attraction, I must pursue it. deep down inside, I just want to be happy together with someone who'd give her time. It was never a mirror. It was only a reflection of me in black. I was all alone.