Liberating

No matter how much I wanted or trying to care about someone, that someone will be disappointed in me, or stay away from me. At some point, I was the main cause. For some, I was to blame. As for the current me, I am not at all waiting for that special someone. I'll just make my moment be special to everyone I put interest to. 

I passed my grumpy bitter days. I outgrown my past self. If it was me from 5 years ago, I'd be in a vicious cycle of self pitying. Many things happened, and I managed to settle down my reminiscing habits. I mean, what's the point of remembering many things in details, if noone in particular felt the same about that moment? Feelings and the desire to connect, that's the clue, right ?

I met many girls, but none of them genuinely cared or interested. Well, some only called because they need someone to talk. And we barely talk.  I mean, if they cared enough to be interested in having a genuine conversation with you, nothing will ever stop them, not even if they're bored. 

I must be strict to myself. Otherwise I'll be more susceptible to an unnecessary external pain. Sealing my feelings off, maybe that's what I need for now. I'll give the key to my heart to someone who need it, and who wants it.